The Idea Archive
Stuff I've Collected Over the Last Few Months
Paraphrasing Twain: There are no new ideas. Even the best artists take old ideas, feed them into their own unique mental kaleidoscopes, and *twist* to create something authentic (old glass, new pattern).
I’m constantly on the lookout for ideas. I’ll come across something on the internet and think, I could do something with this. If it’s out there—screenshot—it’s fair game.
I thought it might be fun to share a few ideas from my archive, which I hope to work into my fiction someday (maybe all in one story…):
Randy Johnson, a professional baseball pitcher keeps a bag of baseballs next to his bed for protection. “If someone breaks in they had better be wearing a helmet.” (I can’t wait to write this scene someday.)
A man down on one knee, proposing to a woman: “Would you do me the honor of taking on even more responsibilities while my life remains largely unchanged?” Cartoonist Suerynn Lee, The New Yorker
“Growing up with parents who can regulate their own emotions is a less talked about form of generational wealth.” Dr Nicole LePera (?)
Ways to say: “Zero fucks given” in other languages: It’s sausage to me (German), It can oxidize on my anus (Dutch), I slap my balls on it (French), It interests me as much as a kilogram of shit (Finnish), Flowers on my dick and bees all around (Greek). Obviously, I would need to fact check these.
“To love someone long-term is to attend a thousand funerals of the people they used to be.” ~Heidi Priebe
From a National Geographic ad. The similarities between a tree stump and a fingerprint.
What if your marker for success was how well you slept at night? How easily you laughed?
“Women should allow their faces to show the lives they lived.” ~Susan Sontag.
Take something bad. Make it good. 
I love a good Venn Diagram “Just heard Benedict Cumberbatch referred to as Burlington Coatfactory and I lost my shit for a solid 7 minutes.” ~Someone named Steve Ryan (?)
A person and their dog wearing matching outfits.
Echo Dot or Alexa waking someone up in the middle of the night (stolen from Shannon), maybe even harrassing/bullying them
“No matter how stupid you feel, just remember that Little Red Riding Hood couldn’t figure out that a talking wolf wasn’t her grandmother.” (Not sure why I find this so funny.)
Someone posting a proposal for a hotel in outer space. Someone’s comment: We literally just want healthcare.
A smartphone surrounded by an angry mob consisting of a camera, radio, calendar, calculator, phone, alarm clock, and envelope. The caption: “So, you’re the one who took all our jobs.”
“My whole life consists of people asking me if I’ve seen this show and me telling them, no I haven’t. Then they say, you should watch it, and I say, I’ll add it to the list. But there is no list and I never will.”
A young woman asks whether she’ll be able to meet any nice, young single men at the Renaissance Festival. The response: Sorry, no. A poly guy with boundary issues claiming to be deeply spiritual will be assigned to you at the gate.
Okay…I think that’s enough for now. Feel free to steal. What’s mine is yours!